My Dog Ate My Wallet!
It might surprise you to know that, should your dog eat your money — paper money, that is — the United States government will replace it.
Great news, right? The not so great news is that, if your dog actually swallows those bills, you must retrieve the mutilated end product and clean it up before sending it off to Uncle Sam for redemption.
Mutilated currency
The Bureau of Engraving & Printing receives, on average, over 22,000 requests per year for examination of mutilated currency for possible reimbursement, to the tune of approximately $35,000,000.
The government will provide a full-value redemption of damaged bills if:
Clearly more than 50% of a note identifiable as United States currency is present, along with sufficient remnants of any relevant security feature; or
50% or less of a note identifiable as United States currency is present and the method of mutilation and supporting evidence demonstrate to the satisfaction of the Bureau of Engraving & Printing that the missing portions have been totally destroyed.
How to receive reimbursement
If your dog snatches your wallet and eats his grocery money, here are the steps to follow:
Pick up all the scraps left behind.
Retrieve any remains of your money from your dog’s “bank deposit.”
Package the cleaned up bills and mail to the Bureau of Engraving & Printing in Washington, DC.
Include a letter stating the estimated value of the currency and an explanation of how the currency became mutilated… “My dog at my wallet!”
Voila! Just like that, problem solved. Way to go United States Government!
What’s the craziest thing your dog ever ate?
Best wishes to you and your four-legged family members for abundant good health.
Dr. Nancy
There will be better stories than this, I’m sure. My dog, having very good taste once grabbed the ball of yarn I was knitting with and ran downstairs with it. It was thin yarn, so it broke. By the time I got to him he was chewing it and swallowed it just as I cranked his jaws open. No cheap stuff for him; it was what was left of a $70 ball of yak and merino yarn. At least it was 100% animal product which fully digested without any problems. He eventually lost his fascination with my knitting. After that I sewed zippers in all my knitting bags and learned to zip up everything before I left the room.